MISS(ed) SMILE

Remember those posters which say SMILE, it costs nothing. Well those posters are such a fabrication of truth. Last night I saw one of these at the railway station, I was off to receive my friend. It was around half past nine and as usual the place was just like three dogs mating. Over-crowded. Some say I was lucky enough to get a seat on the platform. To be frank it sucked. I was sitting between a lady who was stinking of local alcohol and a guy who was touching himself in his sleep.

Well thank God; he was kind enough because I just lift my foot as they were hurting and a kid in front of me pukes. If this was not it, the squeaky clamor tore my ears apart. Everything in the station, living or dead made some noise or the other to kill my tolerance. And finally I decided to go outside the station and wait for her.

How do I always manage to end up into something I never want to be in and yet smile at it and say ‘Worse things happen ’. This was one of those abhorical situations. I get up and start walking towards the entrance talking on my phone. What was supposed to be a very easy process (stand, walk, reach and exit) turned out to be a calamity because I just missed the bottleneck of the process. ‘Look Around’. And I bump into this girl.  

*Girl. Fair. Hair, pitch dark black, a little longer than the shoulder length. Eyes sparkling coffee brown. Pierced nose. Dark yellow tee with a cartoon of Marge Simpsons. Black boots with a blue skin tight denim*

She was just the way my grandmother used to describe the princesses in her fairytales. Especially with that butterfly tattoo on her neck (Oh damn, I make such a bad writer. How come I forgot to plant the tattoo in her description) she seriously was looking GODDAMN CUTE. I somehow managed to get a sorry out of my mouth. All she said was “That’s ok.” And she started moving.

*That’s ok*.  That’s it??? Come on. A slap or at least a couple of swears. She was just too pretty for me to let her go with just a “That’s ok”. I desperately wanted to talk to her more. She was one of those kinds, the Anne Hathaway kind with a sprinkle of Penelope Cruz in her. So I just decide to go and try my luck. If the crossbreed turns back, I go talk to her otherwise I stay and stare (actually letch). After a solid two minutes of Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge stereotype I discover that my luck isn’t lucky enough so I stand and letch.

I sneaked around whenever possible to just get a quick look at her. Of all girls I’ve met, I’ve always heard a wonderful philosophy from them that a girl will instantly get to know if a guy is checking her out, even if he is a mile away. I never believed them. But after seeing what was happening in front of me I was forced to believe the tabooed philosophy. Because this time when I tried to get a peek at her, she was standing a lot closer to me than she was a couple of minutes ago (say like as close as the 6 yard box from the goal, she was standing on the Dee line before).

Now  she was squiggling her hair with one hand and talking on the phone with the other like a 6 year old who just got a new toy phone which made her look even more prettier. I just couldn’t resist myself from smiling (She was way too hyper-active). The worse part starts here because this time she catches me letching at her and gives me an aggressive Sreeshanth grin. I thought of calling the game off but I just didn’t want to lose her off my sight.

She caught me a couple of more times letching at her but I still didn’t stop because I just wanted to talk to her. If I could not pull a conversation with her at least I could make her pull one. This went on for another ten minutes and I knew this was leading to nothing. So I finally decide to go to her and start the conversation.

The feeling is just like the one you get before you sky – dive or jump off a tall water slide. You so badly want to do it but still the lump inside says ‘You know you don’t wanna do it’. But still you do it. So I went to do it. But then some bitch who is always known for opening her mouth at the wrong time comes up with ‘Krupya dyaan de Dilli jaane wali rail 2627 platform number 2 pe aa rahi hai’ and that too with a Dolby Digital sound’s for the deprived.

Bullocks.

She picks her bag and leaves for the train. I was standing two yards away from her like a jackass. Of all the things I had been thinking for the past half hour, talking to her topped the list and here I was looking at her going away. But then as always the masochistic ego proves its existence. The famous alter-ego says ‘Chuck her. She wasn’t that good (inspired by The Fox and the Grapes Epic’. Things would have been good if it had ended there. But miracles do happen when you LEAST want them to happen.

She climbs in her compartment. Then when you expect the train to move she peeks out and SMILES.  And now the train moves.

All I did for the next ten seconds was just smile back. *Damn. Number… Name… Something… Holy Fart!!! Missed her* That was what I did for the next thirty minutes after the ten seconds.

Now she just remains in my boob memory as Ms. SMILE reminding me how big a boob i was. Actually a wuss. The list goes on.

*MISS SMILE… MISS(ed) SMILE*

Dedicated to Nikhil Narsapur (The WUSS).

Eat well sleep safe.. Take care.. Have a Nice Day.. Sayonara.. =)

Chutney Case

chutney 

n.

           a pickle of Indian origin, made from fruit, vinegar, spices, sugar, etc. mango chutney.

Chutney Case, that’s what I called her. The girl who ruined my primary school experience (especially my 2^nd standard). I still remember it was an English class. Nirmala Miss was teaching ‘Kutchu forgot his Glasses’ and suddenly the peon (Kasturi) comes and calls Nirmala Miss outside. So before going she called Pooja and asks her to ‘mind’ the class.

Pooja walks up to the teachers table where a wooden box neatly decorated with a blue color paper having pictures of flowers on it and named ‘CHAAK BOX’ (Chalk Box) was kept. She picks up a yellow chalk and writes in block letters on the board, ‘NAMES’ and underlines it with a curvy line.

The whole class went quite as soon as she wrote it because everyone knew that whosoever name would be on the board would have to taste ‘THREE HITS’ on the ‘KNUCKLES’ and had to ‘KNEEL DOWN, HANDS UP’ for the whole class. Nirmala Miss was another name for terror in the whole school.

I had already forgotten to do my last class’s homework and was trying hard to finish it now. In that rush I knocked my rubber which popped out my table and fell down behind my bench. So I turn back and pick it up. But what was terrifying was that my name was on the board.

I could see ’KIKO’ written in big jokerman handwriting below the heading ‘Names’. I got very angry because I was not talking so I call Pooja and say, ‘I wasn’t TALKING ya’.

‘Shut up man. I seeing you back turned’, she replied.

‘No ya, I not TALK at all. My RUBBER fall down ya, GOD PROMISE. Rub my NAME ya’, I said.

She was adamant. She started acting as though she was the  class leader. Technically I got pissed off and I scream, ’Oi STUPID, how many times I tell ya, I not talking. Rub my name or I tell everyone never ever, ever never talk to you. You MONKEY, DONKEY, IDI…’, before I could complete my sentence I could hear someone screaming out my name aloud.

By the voice, I could make out that it was pleasant. I look at the door and see a huge dark lady with black fat glasses. She had a waistline of 48’ and her teeth bunnied out with the front one half broken. She never looked pleased or happy. She was Nirmala Miss.

I knew she had heard the conversation and was not happy with it. She calls me to the teachers table. I could look at her grin and say that she was surely going to hurt me real bad. She takes out the iron scale from her attendance register and asks me to fist my hand. What succeeded were TEN HARD KNUCKLE SHOTS and a week full of KNEELING DOWN outside the class.

For one week everyone in the school saw a little kid kneeling down outside the class. I had become the topic of sympathy and that was like a candle of embarrassment for me. It burnt me from inside. I started hating POOJA. That was the last time I spoke to POOJA. I started calling her CHUTNEY CASE and spread the CHUTNEY CASE fever to the whole school. I started teasing her, gluing her books and every possible thing to make her cry. I made her life miserable in school. Three years later, her dad got transfer and she left the school. And in a due course of time CHUTNEY CASE was just a bitter memory. But I hated her to the core. I was her worst nightmare in the school. That was the story twelve years ago. A tale of HATRED and REVENGE.

Today morning I just signed into my Facebook account and found that I had a got a friend request from a girl named POOJA M. A click later I found out that it was CHUTNEY CASE.

What I’ve learnt: I just realized how dumb I had been. It was like the puzzle was complete. It was like a circle. Starting everything from the beginning. This world was so small for a heavy word like HATRED. And it is not peace that we should spread but love. Because today PEACE just means that you have a BIGGER STICK than the OTHERS. Spread LOVE and PEACE PREVAILS.


P. S. http://www.chutneycase.com/search?updated-max=2010-01-10T23%3A39%3A00%2B05%3A30&max-results=4


The REAL INSPIRATION...

Eat well sleep safe.. Take care.. Have a Nice Day.. Sayonara.. =)

Chimera – Can Love be an illusion? Episode - 1

It’s been three weeks since I’ve spoken to her. I see her all the time. Even now. She is playing with her hair right in front of me. But I still can’t talk to her. They are watching me. They don’t want me to talk to her. They hate her. They all hate her.

Six months ago…

It was a Sunday. I remember very well. I was waiting at Inox theaters with an extra ticket in my hand (thanks to Rishi who ditched me at the last moment). Sometimes it so happens that some things don’t go according to your plan and you are actually very happy that the plan didn’t go well. Well, this was one of those ‘sometimes’. Because just before I go inside the theatre, this cute girl with a smile comes up to me and asks “Hey, do you by any ‘chance’ have an extra ticket?”

Chance. That was the word. It seriously was a chance to be sitting next to someone like this in a cheesy movie. It was always a fantasy for me. So I give her the ticket and we go watch the movie. After all said and done we end up talking and not watching the movie. We come out of the theatre and then we decide to watch the movie again, watch the movie (Thanks to my impulsiveness). So I buy the tickets and we go to watch the movie. And again end up talking the whole movie (but I don’t think we had to blame anyone. We just enjoyed it). It was around 8:30 when we came out. So I decide to walk her home.

We walk for around four and a half kilometers to her ‘Adi, I just stay ten minutes away from here, can you please walk me down?’ My legs were hurting bad but still I just enjoyed walking with her. She just couldn’t stop talking and I just couldn’t stop listening to her. Oh damn, she was so indescribable. Finally we reach her place. Her house turned out to be a mansion. Pretty old one. Around 120 years old but it didn’t look so. Everything was perfect except that there was no moon. I so didn’t feel like leaving her. But it was late and if I was not home in another half hour my mom would have kindly locked the gates and dropped my blanket on the compound. So I just leave her outside the gate like an ass and sped back home.

It was ages since I had been so excited. I just couldn’t stop thinking about her. I take my phone to call her up and then I realize how SMART I was? I totally forgot to take her number. My impulsiveness is so organized. It always knows when to checkmate me. I was feeling so desperate to talk to her now. So I finally decide that I’m going to her place tomorrow. But the problem was there was still 9 hours for my ‘tomorrow’ and I swear to God I couldn’t wait that long.

Waiting for my watch to show 10 a.m. was just like a gestation period for a cow. The journey so painful but the result so legendary.

10:50 a.m.

I’ve been waiting outside her mansion for almost forty five minutes now. I just didn’t have the courage to go inside. I was scared that she would refuse to recognize me or may be the mansion may just collapse as soon as I step in. I was just scared.

I walk in and see the huge garden and a small pathway towards the door. I pluck a rose from her garden hoping that she wouldn’t realize. I walk up to her door just to see her door locked.


I just thought she might have gone out somewhere and I shall drop sometime later. I was about to leave but saw this lady near the gate. I just couldn’t resist myself but ask her why the house was locked. She just said ‘Yahaan pe toh koi nahi rehta hai’. For the next five seconds I was stunned. I was like this can’t be happening. I dropped her here last night and now I get to know that this house is abandoned. But I refused to believe her. I just couldn’t. But still, the doors were locked. The doors were locked. She couldn’t possibly be lying to me. But still, the doors were locked.

to be continued…

Eat well sleep safe.. Take care.. Have a Nice Day.. Sayonara.. =)

And Then,

Mortality is a boon given by GOD as long as you don’t make it a CURSE…

They say one should be courageous enough to kill oneself but long stated that suicide is an act of cowardice. Well though the former makes a lot of sense, the latter justifies the truth. Life ain’t a banana peel to be scraped off before enjoying the fruit. We also fail to realize that the scraped banana peel can act as a source of parity to trip a lot of people around you. How lame and selfish can someone be? Not just you end your life but also you are ending the dreams and joys of the people around you who care for you, who love you and sometimes may be who just are living because, YOU ARE.

I agree life ain’t sweet to us always but then again what’s the fun if we don’t fight for it. Bitter moments do exist in life. That doesn’t even give you a valid reason to kill yourself.

Wondering what is this shit all about? Let me tell you. I get up in the morning and open the newspaper for the first time. The first thing I read ‘Girl jumps in front of running elephant to commit suicide. Elephant trips and passes away’. Funny huh? Not for the elephant though. On a serious note, the headline read ‘Girl jumps off from an eight – storey apartment, but survives’. Yes she did survive but the latter part of the news also said she had 17 irreversible fractures and her mother passed away due to shock. The reason as according to the source was that she didn’t get through some very reputed college because her marks were less than the cut off. Just by a couple. Really, is our life just worth a college seat? Or may be a sweetheart (who actually never respected you)? Is suicide the only way to solve your problems? To attain liberation?

I just couldn’t resist but write about this issue. That news actually hurt me. Thinking about that girl’s mother? Her irreversible fractures?

Kevin Bernhardt quoted life has just three rules.  Paradox, humour, and change. 

1.   Paradox: Life is a mystery. Don't waste time trying to figure it out. 

2.   Humour: Keep a sense of humour, especially about yourself. It is strength beyond all

measure. 

3.   Change: Know that nothing stays the same. 

Well sounds so philosophical but surely ain’t no LIE. Suicide is not a solution. It is an act of helplessness and hopelessness. More of the latter.

What I’ve Learnt: Death isn’t sad. It is just that we don’t live at all.  There are NO ORDINARY MOMENTS. The day you realize it you’ll get to know how special your LIFE is. The JOURNEY is what brings us HAPPINESS not the DESTINATION. Death is just a mere destination. 

Eat well sleep safe.. Take care.. Have a Nice Day.. Sayonara.. =)

Gandhi taught Me

If I were you and you were me,

I would make the selfish you, WE.

BULLSHIT. I still wonder what was I thinking when I wrote those two lines three months back. Well, to be honest I was trying to be GANDHI. You read it right. GANDHI and his acts of SELFLESSNESS. BULLSHIT again. The whole theory of making people happy, giving them surprises fascinated me so much. The simple reason being the smile on their face when they got those surprises or so called moments. Well that included waiting for them at the bus-stop, giving a surprise birthday party, gift wrapping a smelly dead rat with its intestine out (oops that didn’t include any smile) and lately even jumping off a moving bus (that almost killed me, but worth it *then*) and even lamer stuffs. I just look back now and see what a mess I had made of myself.

I had completely substituted YO – YO in people’s life. Woah!!! Kingpin marketers couldn’t come up with a substitute for a YO – YO. It was just like they had tied a thread to my wiinis. All I did was swing according to their wish.

Well, it just took me a six seat dinner table with five empty chairs and a plate of tasteless food to realize that on the last day of your life, its only YOU who have travelled the whole journey. So there is no point in pleasing any Tom, Harry or even DICK because even he is going to dump you some day. It’s not a sin in being SELFISH.

And I’m glad I am one (from today)

What I’ve learnt: When you are rescuing someone from a well and that person pulls you inside instead then just drown him first and FLOAT ON HIM.

Eat well sleep safe.. Take care.. Have a Nice Day.. Sayonara.. =)

Pray for my Angel....

At some point of time, we all go through this phase, where we just feel that we’ve lost everything. Nothing we want is with us. Your neighbor turns out to be a SUPER SEXY HOT MODEL, you get a 99 in your exams but yet you discover that she’s GAY and you just lost your seat by 0.1%.

But in my case, I wasn’t even that lucky. I neither got a neighbor nor could me at least clear a straight 60. People said “Patience is the virtue”. They asked me to just wait. “Right things do happen at right time”. I thought; let me give it a shot. So I waited. And waited. And waited a little more. But then realized that my life was like a “SNOOZE” button for god. Every time I scream “Alarm” “Alarm”, he just pressed “Snooze” and slept a little longer. Patience was indeed a virtue. A virtue for PESSIMISM.

So I finally decided to go on ISOLATION. I stopped playing, talking, laughing, and basically stopped doing anything and everything that involved people in it. It was all me everywhere. I got more time to spend with myself. And it was during that time I actually I realized what were my deepest desires. I was actually feeling good. Basically for the fact that I don’t have to share anything with anyone. But then again I forgot this basic truth that it is not only happiness that I got to share; I also have sorrow, grief and anguish.

I wanted to share them but I just couldn’t find someone because I just didn’t trust anyone. Trust was a simple 5 letter word which was beyond my comprehension. Things go right or wrong, I was happy that I got no one else but me to blame for it. So isolation was great. Till the day I met this angel.

No. It’s not another love story. In fact, it is more motivational and weary. It’s actually after seeing this angel I just learnt what I was missing all my life. I didn’t even realize how and when did I go through this whole TRANSFORMATION. All I remember is that smile on that angel’s face.

I just wanted to know the secret behind that smile because I never saw the angel without the smile. So one day, I just went to the angel and asked it the secret. It replied, “To know the reason behind my secret, you have to stay with me for a fortnight”. Fifteen days was not a bad bargain to find the secret of that smile. So I just agreed. But never in the wildest dreams did I ever imagine what would happen in the next fifteen days.

Days passed by like the spring’s breeze. Not hot not cold. And all I could see everyday was a new trouble tied to this angel’s neck. It had a new trouble at every sunrise and a new problem at every sunset and yet it managed to make its smile shine like gold. At the end of the fifteenth day, I had seen the angel in the worst situations of life but still with a sparking smile. I was confused. So I just asked it, “What is it that makes you to go on for more in life? I’ve never seen anyone living a life which is as hard as yours and of those whom I have seen; I’ve never noticed a smile on their face? Why is it that I have never seen a tear on your face?”

It simply replied, “I live life with HOPE. HOPE that tomorrow life’s got a surprise for me. that tomorrow I find another friend like you who gives me another reason to smile. HOPE. I just HOPE.”

What I’ve learnt: I always saw this angel and thought how happy it was. But never even knew that it was going through situations worse than that of mine. A petite word which had the secret to happiness on this planet. HOPE. HOPE to believe in yourself when others don’t.

This part of the post is not a post-script or a foot-note. It is a genuine and a humble request of mine. A couple of days ago, for the first time I saw TEARDROPS in my angel’s eye. It came to me and asked me to help it. And I didn’t know what to do. I just could not repay the angel for the new verve it had given me. So I just thought may be you can help me. All I request you are after reading this post please pray the LORD for just five seconds that MAY MY ANGEL GET WHAT IT WANTS. I HOPE that you will do this small favor for me. PLEASE…. I love my angel and I’m sure even you would if you see it. PLEASE PRAY FOR IT. THAT’S THE WHOLE REASON FOR ME TO WRITE THIS POST.

Eat well, Sleep safe. Sayonara

Have a Nice Day [=)]

Tum Raja, Woh Rani par mein kyun GHULAM......

Adam and Eve; the two people who were responsible for the evolution of mankind. But my Grandfather had a different story. My Grandfather (he was an Astrologer) knew the true reason (story) behind the evolution of mankind. Two days before he knew he was going to die, he called me and told me the sacred truth that was passed on from generations. I still remember those words. He said “Eighty years back my Grandfather said this to me and today I’m telling this to you. You will know when you are going to die, and then you call your grandson and tell him this sacred truth of which we are the guardians”. A joke struck me then, I thought what if I get a Grand Daughter instead, but I knew, it wasn’t the right time for jokes.

He started his story.

“When God made this planet, he first made the mountains, then the trees, then the rivers, then all other important things. The last but one thing he created was two men. A strong man whose name was DOG and a weak man whose name was CAT. Dog and Cat gradually started to know each other. They became friends. Good Friends. They worked together, they hunted together, they ate together, they played together and they slept togeth. . . actually that is where things didn’t go right. They didn’t sleep together. That is when God realized his mistake. He knew there was going to be no progress and at the same time ‘Ctrl + D’ wasn’t working for him in heaven so as to delete his mistake. So he created the last and most dangerous thing. A Woman whose name was BITCH (not being a chauvinist). Then the three lived happily ever after . . . ever after till the Dog made out with the Bitch. Because now the Dog spent most of its time with Bitch while the Cat was feeling left out. Finally one day, the Cat decided to end this up. He spoke to the Dog about the Bitch. Little talks grew into huge swears. And then the mighty Dog got angry and fisted the weak Cat. The Cat then just fled from there. He fled to Bitch and told her that the Dog had just slipped and fallen off the cliff. Hearing this Bitch ran towards the cliff – tip and actually slipped and fell into the deep gorge. Once the Dog got to know about this, he started chasing the cat. God up in heaven was seeing all these shit happening and thought that humans must be the best of his creations and not the worst. So he converted the Dog and the Cat to DOG and CAT. And then he created ADAM and EVE. Since then the age old rivalry of the Dogs and Cats started”.

What I’ve learnt: When I heard this story, I could actually relate it to myself. I had a lot of Dog and Cat situations in my life (actually all the time). The worst part, I never got the chance to be a DOG. The best part, luckily, I wasn’t being chased. Instead I was being ignored or just left least interacted. And i hate to be the CAT.

P.S. Dog – Bitch relationship didn’t always mean a couple relationships. It was just that the Cat was ignored (that’s the story all about).

Moral: Two is a company, three a crowd. So ignore the odd one out.

Eat well, Sleep safe. Sayonara

Have a Nice Day [=)]

This one is dedicated to my strongest supporter Nivuuuuu.....

Too long but not too hard..

“The "art of tea" is a spiritual force for us to share.

Day, day before Yesterday I was on my way to this temple. Stop giving me that look, I know you don’t trust me (exam results were to be announced so).

Two couple of weeks before…

The first time I actually decided to go to temple (on my own, with my will) to pray for my results (actually beg, bribe or fool). And then I thought it would be irrational for me to go and pray empty-handed. So, I just decided to stop by a super-market, take a box of sweets and give it to temple (which would later be given as prasadam to all the devotees). To be truthful, I had nothing to do with the sweets. All I wanted was giving it to the temple and make a Harake (which is commonly used in all Bollywood movies and K’soaps as mannat) that “I would every week without fail will bestow at your feet a box of sweets for the next four weeks (that is till my results were out) and in exchange I pray you to help me (indirectly telling him that I have no other option) to clear my Management Accountancy paper”. And I did the same for the next couple of weeks.

Day, day before yesterday I saw this old fat grumpy lady with a small kid at the billing counter (at the supermarket) who was right in-front of me billing a pair of socks, three MTR ready to eat packs, 8 LUX soaps, 2 Close-Up toothpastes, some vegetables, 2 dozen of bananas (I swear I don’t know why she was buying bananas, ;), come on really!!!) and lot of other things. She had two full trolleys. This was pissing me off badly because I was getting late.

Meanwhile, I saw this dark, scattered hair kid (hardly 3 years old) wearing torn clothes, running towards the billing counter (I don’t how that beggar kid came inside the market). This beggar kid came and stood right in front of me and started staring at my hands which had 500 grams of Kaju-Barfi. I gave him a scary gawk and turned my eyes off from him.

This went on for 2 minutes and I was feeling very uncomfortable. So, I just decided to shoo that kid off. And when I turned to do so, I just saw some thing that put my eyes into shame. This old fat grumpy lady’s kid patted the beggar kid’s back and gave it (sorry, him) an Éclairs. And that beggar kid just took it and ran out of the market. And for the next two minutes I just didn’t know how to react. On one side, for my selfish needs I was bribing the God, whereas, on the other side I just saw a three year old kid who could hardly speak, sharing a chocolate with someone who actually needed it the most. I always had heard that “Actions speak louder than words” but today I just understood what it actually meant.

So even I thought, instead of giving that box of sweets to the temple, which at the end of the day will be eaten by some idiots, I just thought why not I give it to some people who really need it. So, as soon as I finished the darshan I came out and gave that box of sweets to a beggar standing in front of the temple. He just said “Devaru yavagalu ninna jotheyalli idhi, ninna sukhawaghi nodkond irali”.
SUBTITLE: May the Lord be with you all the time and BESTOW you with happiness, forever.

Those words shook me off from my roots. It was then I understood the real meaning of bestow, it was then I understood what I was doing and what I should have done. Instead of giving those sweets to some one for whom it had no value, I should have just given it to people who needed it the most. It would have been just like God giving free quarter a mark to every guy in my class instead of giving me those marks who needed it the most to clear my paper (I know that’s a stupid comparison to make, but it seriously is worth a thought).

What have I've Learnt: “The people who are hardest to love are usually the ones who need it most.”. A three old kid had given me a lifetime of wisdom without speaking a word. And I just wanted to share it with you.

P.S. I just got break even marks in my paper.

Eat well, Sleep safe. Sayonara

Have a Nice Day [=)]